i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize