i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize