he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
