Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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