I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
