Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
