i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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