Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
