HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
