ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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