No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
