that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
