Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
