if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
