He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
