A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
