I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
