I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
