just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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