I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
BRING THE BAGELS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
