The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize