Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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