Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
