I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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