bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize