I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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