So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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