is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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