I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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