The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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