honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
