Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you would pick up someone in the library
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
