u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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