I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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