Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize