What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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