Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
