Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
