She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
