thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
