Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
