I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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