so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
