Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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