I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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