Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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