therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
