Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
