i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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