I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
