i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
