If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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