Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
