Pappa wants mamma naked
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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