i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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