i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
