He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
